FMG: I live for a heist
Plus, dating life details inside!!!!!
Happy Friday!
Is anyone else just in sheer disbelief that life is real? Every single day, the news gets crazier, and I find myself doing increasingly weirder shit to cope (I just signed up to enter the chili cookoff in my building??? Wicked merch makes me cry, and I’m currently non-ironically reading a romance novel titled The Pumpkin Spice Cafe???). Let this be your reminder: Do what you can to build community, to bring yourself joy, and to support art in all its forms. You really, truly deserve it.
(P.S. I think I’m going to make this chili for the cookoff, but with chicken. The first-place prize is $200 — and if I’m being honest with myself, I know I’d do MUCH worse for $200.)
Dating: Speaking of things I’d do for money (parents, I’m kidding), I went on a date this week! I reallllly like to brand myself as someone who hates dating, doesn’t do it based on principle, and is generally ~above~ the whole thing. While those things can be true on any given day, my therapist and I have recently been working on seeing things as less black-and-white (two things can be true, and all that) — so while I don’t LOVE dating, it’s important for me to recognize that to BE dating doesn’t have to mean I’m actively OuT tHeRe conversing with 20 guys at a time. I’m working on opening myself up to love while also focusing on my other, time-consuming priorities. I don’t have to sacrifice being a good employee, aunt, sister, daughter, friend, DWTS viewer, or smut reader to also be oPeNhEaRtEd — so when a nice guy from Kansas City asks me on a Hinge date, it’s not against my very principles to say yes. We had a beer and he was a nice guy, but there won’t be a second date (and each of those things is as true as the other!).
When we were making arrangements for the date (ugh, why does it sound so clinical), a thought was triggered that’s actually been noodling around in my head for a while. We had set the date a week or so prior (he was traveling for work), and we solidified the time and place a few days ahead of time. As the day of the date rolled around, I kept expecting him to text to confirm I was still free. The TikTok girlies would say that it’s an absolute must — I’ve seen several videos (with timestamps) justifying the cancellation of a date because the other party didn’t confirm on the day of with enough advance notice. Around 5:30, I messaged, “Are we still on for 7?”, and he confirmed. I asked myself if that was a red flag, and I assured myself that, for me, it’s honestly not. In addition to working on existing in the gray area, I’m also working on listening to my own intuition, feelings, and values vs. what the Internet (namely, TikTok) is telling me to care about. How that looks in terms of dating: I genuinely don’t care if a guy doesn’t send a confirmation text, but I do care if he swears a lot on a first date (Hypocritical? Maybe!). I don’t care if the bar we choose is close to my home or in a random neighborhood, but I do care if he’s on his phone or glancing at the TVs throughout the night. All this to say: Whether you’re dating like I am, or you’re just navigating another of life’s relational/social situations, I want to encourage you to listen to your actual own self (and your own rules for what you like/tolerate) instead of listening to arbitrary rules made by people who don’t know you or how you operate. Don’t write someone off for not texting exactly how the Internet thinks they should, and I’ll try not to write someone off just for wearing shorts in their Hinge profile. We can work on it together.
An aside: If you think it’s weird to take dating advice from me, a single person, but don’t think it’s weird when married people give it out, I want to challenge you to ask yourself who you’d rather trust on a date: A person who married their prom date? Or me, who’s been on more first dates than every single one of my immediate family members combined? Experience builds both character and expertise, and I’m swimming in both.
Food: I’ve never before given much thought to my feelings on theft (I mean, it’s bad?), but these past few weeks have challenged that belief in two ways. First (and most obviously), I love the Louvre robbery (and I do mean that legitimately). It was genuinely SO refreshing to read a news headline about a cheeky little heist as opposed to the stripping of human rights and basic decency — and when they whipped out that dapper little detective, I was positively done for. Similarly, I’m currently having a hyperfixation with the Trader Joe’s Crustless Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jam Sandwiches. They are soooo good, and I could eat them every single day. Did they steal the idea from Smuckers? Of course they did! Do I care? I honestly do not!! I’ve heard rumors that there’s going to be a lawsuit, but it’s my newfound belief that sometimes thievery is victimless (and THAT’S a gray area!).
Most Importantly: I am obviously joking about the sandwiches, but what’s not a joke is the fact that (unless the government magically reopens on Friday, October 31), about 42 million Americans could lose their access to food assistance on Saturday. It’s my firm position that every single human being deserves access to food, and that food and hunger should NEVER be political. If you agree, now’s the time to step up and help our neighbors, fellow community members, and strangers. I personally made a donation to the Greater Chicago Food Depository, and you can see here for a pretty simple but comprehensive guide to lending a hand in your own area.
If you have questions about U.S. food assistance (such as who is eligible to receive it and if people are fraudulently taking advantage of it), I found this article to be a helpful resource.
Have a wonderful Halloweekend, stay safe, and spread some love!
XOXO,
Gail