FMG: A Love Letter to Trader Joe's Banana Bread, and Also to Rejection
Buckle up, she's a long one!
Happy Friday! To write this, I had to sneak away from my obsessive consumption of reality television (I’m currently operating on about 45% Selling Sunset, 35% Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and 20% omg-how-does-the-Devin-of-it-all-keep-getting-worse?). More on that below, but first…
After 10 years as an avid spinner (including 3+ years as a proud Peloton owner), I auditioned a few weeks ago for an open position as a spin instructor at a local studio. Spinning has been one of the loves of my life for a decade — I fell in love with it (and with my then-in-person coach Denis Morton, who became my Peloton coach years later) while I was in college in Fort Worth, Texas, and the passion has seen me through many life stages, apartments, and jobs. Idle my Peloton sat while I trained for the 2022 Chicago marathon (not-at-all-humble brag), but I’ve ridden it frantically every time I’ve stressed about a boy, a work problem, a disagreement with a friend, or one of these all-too-frequent presidential elections. (To be clear, I also spin when I’m happy — but there’s something so satisfying about spinning out your stresses, no?)
The open call for auditions sounded, to me, like a siren song, made only more prevalent when, in a Peloton class (yes, really!), coach Alex Toussaint (marry me) urged class-takers to pursue things that “fall outside your comfort zone but inside your element.” To me, the path forward was clear — I had to audition.
After a short but fun and seemingly successful audition, I was recently informed that I did not make it past that first round. I don’t feel devastated (though I do feel surprised), and I actually feel inspired to pursue this goal again in the future, after better preparing for a hopefully different outcome. I’ll work on my technique and conditioning, and I’ll re-audition when the time is right.
I don’t share this for sympathy, but rather because I feel strongly that sharing our rejections and our disappointments should be dramatically more normalized — things we should feel compelled to share as often as our successes for the benefit not only of ourselves but also of everyone else around us.
Aside from my faith and my family, arguably the most ubiquitous relationship of my life has been with rejection. Again, I don’t share this for pity, sympathy, or to win some kind of suffering Olympics — but rather to remind you (and myself!) how frequently the people that we see on Instagram, on the street, on our TVs, and on TikTok are facing setbacks and disappointments (and — even more importantly — how much room these setbacks and disappointments leave for better options to come).
I have been rejected more times than my brain can even fathom — by employers, by guys, by friends, by teachers, and by strangers on the Internet. Upon graduation from college (go Frogs), I spent what felt like AGES longer than my fellow graduates searching for a position. I agonized over what I believed to be a personal failing, a true inability to find work in my chosen field. After an incredibly stressful period of applying, interviewing, and receiving truly more rejection emails than I can count, I landed an internship at a media company. Little did my long-suffering unemployed self know, but that exact internship would lead to five years of work that was (though certainly not perfect) deeply fulfilling and that also introduced me to several of my very best friends. Had any of the earlier jobs worked out, I never would’ve found the professional or personal success that job brought me — benefits I’m still reaping to this day.
In a cheesier example (and one that may not technically count as rejection but moreso as a disappointment), one of my most poignant memories of this phenomenon came during my senior year of high school. I was FORCED by my guidance counselor to take a sophomore-level math class (she’s a creative!), a class which was only held during third block and therefore lunchtime and therefore my lunch hour was with sophomores instead of my fellow seniors and I couldn’t have imagined anything more uncool. I felt ostracized (and yes, REJECTED by my peers and guidance counselor for my lack of mathematical prowess!?) — until I met the other senior in my class, someone who would go on to become my boyfriend and one of the dearest people I knew. Though we broke up when we went to college (genuinely very sad!), that boyfriend became so special and important to me and gave me so many of my favorite teenage memories. Our paths never would’ve crossed if I hadn’t taken that one class with that dumb lunch hour, and I’ll be forever thankful for it.
I’m given more and more examples by the day. Just this week, a guy on Hinge moved RAPIDLY from “Can I take you out” to “I’m actually rescinding that offer, have a nice life.” For as long as I can remember, rejection has been my constant companion — and frankly, I’ve grown incredibly comfortable having him by my side. (Yes, of course he’s a man!)
In this comfort, there’s potential. Perhaps I wasn’t selected to be a spin instructor because my time will soon be spent instead as a cast member on a reality show about 30-something social media managers in Chicago. Perhaps that guy on Hinge un-asked me out because West Wilson is finally about to start responding to my DMs. When you’re scrolling through your social media feeds and are barraged by other peoples’ “yeses,” I hope you’re able to remind yourself that they’ve experienced as many “nos” as you have. We’re all just doing our best, and no one’s life is free from rejection (Reminder: On Wednesday, Taylor Swift lost three of the VMAs she was nominated for).
Speaking of pop culture, let’s land this plane. A few more recent callouts:
TV: As mentioned above, we’re living in a truly magical time for reality television. I can’t believe there was ever a time I couldn’t tell the Mormon wives apart. I now know their faces as well as my own.
Books: I finished Dark Matter and so highly recommend it! There were two spots where I thought, “huh, paying attention in high school physics could’ve helped me out here,” but the end result was well worth the minor, brief confusion. My copy of Liane Moriarty’s new book, Here One Moment, shipped this week, and I can’t wait for it to arrive.
Food: Three Trader Joe’s items are currently taking up 100% off my heart.
Vegan Banana Bread with Walnuts: I honestly don’t have much of a sweet tooth (my cravings are reserved for varietals of cheese), but this is genuinely possibly the best thing I’ve ever tasted. It’s SO moist and the flavor is perfect.
Crunchy Chili Onion Sprinkle Seasoning Blend: If you’re a fan of chili crunch (on your eggs, pizza, etc.), this seasoning is even easier to use (and much cheaper than the Momofuku chili crunch I’m partial to). Sprinkle a little on avocado toast and suddenly you’re a chef!
Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese: If Trader Joe’s made this seasonal fall item available year-round, I swear I’d complain approximately 30% less. There is NO better frozen meal and NO better pasta. I’ve already eaten it twice this fall, and it’s only September 13 and therefore not even fall.
May your coming weekend bring you a “yes” grown in the garden of all your “nos.” I’m rooting for you!
XO, Gail
And as a reminder:
It’s an election year, and it is my duty to remind you that while newsletters like this are crucial for maintaining sanity and levity, I am not a news source and am in no way a replacement for staying informed. For every newsletter you read that makes you smile, I hope you also read an informed take on politics, world events, and social issues (then fact check it!) — and for every heavy piece of news you take in, I hope you also consume and/or create a piece of art that promotes light, laughter, and joy.
Abby. I have been quietly consuming your FMG newsletters and I am inspired by your honesty and humor. You're tapping into some real shared humanity and it feels so good to read. Thank you.
Also, I'm compelled to recommend the first show I've binged in YEARS: Couples Therapy. If you haven't already seen it, you must (though, you have to buy Paramount, which I didn't even know was a thing. But it's worth it). It's docu-series style reality TV where quirky couples with some serious shit going on in their lives do actual therapy with a psychoanalyst. I just feel like it's your kinda thing.
Keep opening us up to shared rejection! Be well.